Monday Morning Blogpost: Meltdown Monday! Mental Health Day!

No lesson this week.

It’s been a rough week.  It started out like this—“It’s nearly midnight and I am too angry to sleep.  I even cried today, which I rarely cry, especially in a public place.  I told my boyfriend, ‘I haven’t been so angry since I left Utah,’ and then I cried more.”

Women are often stigmatized for getting emotional.  I am finally learning to embrace everything about myself—yes, swear words, and all.

It’s easy for me to get angry and slip into a depression because I tend to keep my emotions, and what I am really thinking, inside.

Last week my daughter, who does comedy, called me up and said, “A man in a suit came up to me after my performance last night, and asked if he could make a suggestion. I told him ‘of course’ thinking that maybe he was a producer, or the microphone needed readjusting.  His advice was ‘You know you really don’t need to mention ‘Utah’ in your joke.’”

“Utah was the punchline,” she said.  “Without the punchline the joke would have gone nowhere.”

F-you! All the men who have tried to control me, and my daughters.

We live in California, and I have no idea if this man was a Mormon, or not.  Or, if he is from Utah. His comment  clearly came at the wrong time; due to earlier readings and conversations in the week, my emotions were triggered.

In order for me to stay true to myself, and these blogposts, I have decided to start with a social problem that is important to me as a woman– gender inequality.  I believe one tactic men use to control women is religion, and I believe this is occurring more in Utah than any other state in our nation.

I once believed that “anger” was evil, and a “natural enemy” to god —many women from the FLDS polygamous group have been told to “keep sweet” by their religious leaders.  I was told by my husband to never voice my opinion, if it was contrary to his, unless he asked.  Now I realize that anger is an emotion that is often caused by frustration—it helps protect us, kicks us in the butt, and motivates us to make changes in our life (if we don’t do anything about our situation, it can lead to anxiety and depression).

If there was a God would he care more about anger and using profanity, or allowing human rights to be violated?

After a dozen attempts at trying to suppress my emotions, I could not prepare for Monday School lesson. I was too angry.  Later in the morning, I went to my Facebook page to look at my posts, thinking that maybe if I read my personal Facebook page, and revisited some of the inspirational quotes, I would be more likely to follow my own advice.

It took awhile.

Eventually, after reading a quote from Hermann Hesse, and turning it around a bit, I was reminded that my anger is part of me.  In order to find that stillness, that sanctuary that we all deserve, it means accepting ourselves.

I have been able to let go of the recent anger (and I am certain it will come back again, and then I will let it go…).

As soon as I get home, I will try to write again.

hermann hesse

Hopefully, I will be more prepared for next week.

2 Responses to Monday Morning Blogpost: Meltdown Monday! Mental Health Day!

  1. Harry Dschaak says:

    Oooo.. I like this school already.

    The only days you get out of class in Conventional Schools are on national holidays, snow days and Teacher Inservice days, everything else that comes along to spoil your perfect attendance ruins your GPA and Honor Role hopes… you.know, which is compounded in the negative by threats of truancy, the anxiety multipliers such as the three tardies= an absence policies and Summer School for Dummies. Whats even worse is that normal “Sunday” School is a drag [unfortunately] when weekends are cut in half because one had better prepare (or prepare for) Sunday School lessons which are pretty much a matter of [eternal] life and death, and this because of those unseen [fiercely] honest Angels with forgiving minds and personaal clipboards that are always keeping score. But all is not a drag!

    Verily verily I say unto you that “Monday School is cool”.

    Our internet home school teacher reserves the right to cancel Monday School on Monday Morning, which is like someone saying the three day weekend that wasn’t, now is! Who could ever have a problem with that kind of news?

    I think it’s great, and even graceful. Sort of like having a sniper pass on a perfectly good shot today for an even better one down the road. Who can argue with a sniper who doesn’t like what he sees, (or feels)??

    Not me.

    The topics of anger management and gender inequality are pretty hefty issues that cause people to raise their voice when either subject is brought up… especially when one is getting their buttons pushed by someone(s) off camera, so why waste a perfectly good shot?


    …on ‘crapola’ days, there is no homework.


    • admin says:

      Yes, rules of convenience, sound familiar? If you hadn’t already figured it out, I also took these types of days off when I was in school.

      This is how I justified it: My day of writing angst was like being an ill chef, and nobody wants to eat from a sick chef. She might get tired and forget what ingredients she used. Plus, this writing chef wanted to make certain those dozen guests at the Marvelous Monday School Banquet are happy and satisfied with their meal.

      That would be terrible if readers gobbled up my words before the blogpost was written in its entirety. Didn’t I mention that in the disclaimer?

      You know Harry, there is power when one has opened their eyes to the truth, and learned to utilize their anger in a constructive way. Never underestimate the almighty ripple effect.

      Thanks for making me laugh!

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